Mystique, the Greatest Storyteller: Fact
by CigarsAllAround
Summary: With her husband away on a mission, Raven is left to put her five-year-old, Anna-Marie, to bed. If there's one thing the beautiful, blue woman despises, it's the bedtime routine. But she may have found her calling when she weaves her daughter a tale fit for a mini-pirate.


**This was first published in my drabble series. But after reading it again, I loved it so much I wanted to post it on its own. I was never a fan of Raven until a sleeping Yankee friend asked me to RP as her. What about now? Well I can't get enough of the woman. And I don't think there are too many one-shots out there like this... There should be though. Mama Raven telling a bedtime story, it's just a brilliant concept.**

**Enjoy! **

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><p><strong>Mystique The Greatest Storyteller: FACT<strong>

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><p>Raven stretched out on her daughter's bed, cursing her husbands gallivanting ass to hell. She hated Anna Marie's bedtime with a passion and Wolverine was away flexing his heroic muscles on some battlefield. No. No scratch that, he was most probably holed up in some shitty bar far over the Canadian border guzzling beer and eyeing scantily clad whores. The asshole.<p>

Now her daughter had finally finished screaming into the carpet, kicking the wall and punching the air, she was ready for her story. Oh god help anybody if they ever found out Mystique read bedtime stories. She would never be taken seriously again.

"Mama, hurry up an' think of a story." Anna huffed, sitting cross legged on the bed with her stuffed penguin on her lap.

She needed to make up a tale to tell a five year old girl? How utterly brilliant was that. Her imagination had died back in nineteen thirty five during a rather raucous party. Eight men in your beautifully grand four poster bed would do that to you. Make you fabulously sore for a few days, too.

A frowning Anna tugged the front of her mama's dress. "Ya got a funny look in ya eyes. Do ya got a real good story for meh?"

Raven shook the orgy thoughts from her mind. Oh the thrilling thirties were damn glorious times.

"Oh course I have, Sweetheart. I have so many stories in this head of mine." She tapped her temple.

The little southerner smiled excitedly and climbed onto Raven's lap. "Ah'm waitin', Mama. So's Cobain." She waved her fluffy, cuddly toy penguin around.

"Right." Mystique brow wrinkled in thought. She had no idea what the hell she was doing. James usually did the bedtime routine. But if he could tell a story, it couldn't be that difficult. "Once upon a time... There was a beautiful blue princess."

"A princess? Yuck."

"Fine." She sighed, wrapping her arms around her daughter's waist and hugging her. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful blue pirate-"

Anna scowled. "There ain't no blue pirates. Everybody knows they're green."

Resting her chin against the girl's head, Raven silently counted to ten and squashed the urge to run away and get incredibly drunk. "Anna, who's telling this story, you or me?"

"Ya are, Mama. That's a silly question." She giggled.

"Then let me tell the story without interrupting. I'm new at this you know." The woman took a deep breath and smiled. "Here we go again. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful blue pirate called, um, Braven."

"Um Braven?" Anna Marie repeated, grinning. "Ah like that name."

"No. It's just Braven, darling. Braven the beautiful blue pirate."

"Did Braven the beautiful blue pirate like chocolate treasure an' stabbin' big, ol' hairy, fat pirates? Did she have a boat an' loadsa scary pirate friends? There'd better be a green an' green parrot that talks an' says real bad words."

Raven shot an amused smile at her daughter. "Not quite, no. Braven did love treasure though," Her eyes sparkled as she stared off into space. "She _loved _treasure. One day Braven the beautiful blue pirate went on an adventure. She had heard about a bottle of _Bollinger's _Vieille Vignes Francaises."

"What's that, Mama?"

"Bollinger is a very famous French company who make Champagne and wine. And Vieille Vignes Francaises is an expensive bottle of champagne worth seven hundred and fifty dollars."

Anna sat up, alert and wide eyed. "Does Braven want the money out mah piggy bank? Ah've got five whole dollars in there she can have for her bottle."

"That's very nice of you, Sweetheart." Raven kissed her baby girl's forehead. "But Braven was a very smart blue pirate. You see, she heard about... A cruel king of the Canadian swamps who owned the last bottle of Champagne. Braven knew one drop of the Vieille Vignes Francaises would make her the strongest pirate in the world."

"Why was she smart?"

"Because when she arrived at the swamp in Canada she found it was guarded by scary, mean monsters called Canucks. Braven had to decide whether to fight them or kiss them. Fighting them would make the monsters hurt badly, but kissing the Canucks made them faint and they would sleep for days and days with a smile on their faces."

"Oh." Anna frowned as she thought about everything, bunching her fists. "Ah would fight 'em an' Cobain thinks the same."

"Yes, I know you would. And that's what Braven did, too. She fought all the mean, scary Canucks until their bodies were piled so high, they reached the stars in the sky."

"Wow," The little girl marvelled, gazing up at the ceiling and imagining all the monsters being dead. "Then what happened, Mama?"

"After all the Canucks were gone, she searched the area, hacking down large bushes and tree branches with her diamond encrusted sword. And there it was, the large stone entrance to the house of the cruel king of the Canadian swamps." Raven was actually enjoying herself, not that she'd ever have admitted it. "Braven found the door was locked and she couldn't get in whatever she tried. The snow began to fall and it was so very cold, she wanted to go home."

"No, she can't go home tah her mama an' daddy," Anna huffed, not liking this part of the story. "She's real close to gettin' her bottle. The silly blue pirate should have taken a big blanket with her, then she wouldn't be cold."

"I agree," Raven grinned, clearing her throat. "The freezing temperatures were getting to Braven, her eyebrows were even frosting over. When suddenly, there was a loud, girlish roar behind her."

Anna gasped. "A girlish roar? Who was it, Mama? Was Braven okay?"

"Braven swung around, sword at the ready, the point of the blade scratching the tip of a Canuck's oversized nose."

"They ain't all dead! Braven didn't get 'em all, she missed one."

The woman nodded. "There was one Canuck left from the cruel king of the Canadian swamps army and he was the worst of them. Do you know why, Anna?"

"Um," Anna shook her head. "Was he real ugly an' made ya sick if ya looked at him?"

Raven snorted. "Yes he was. But that wasn't why he was the worst Canuck, oh no. Mike the Canuck liked to sing. His voice was so loud and sounded so very bad it could kill. Anybody who listened to him singing for longer than two minutes would fall asleep and never, ever wake up again."

"Ah bet Mike the Canuck's mama weren't happy with him for bein' so mean with his voice."

"His mama was the one who taught him to sing like that, but anyway. Braven was a very good fighter and she had heard all about the singing Canuck in a bar. So when he opened his fat mouth, she clutched the sword tightly in her cold palm and stabbed him in the throat."

"Go, Braven! Yeah!" Anna Marie cried excitedly. "Was there lots of blood? Did he stop singin' real meanly?"

"He did stop singing." Raven remarked with a knowing smirk. "His voice was so horrible that when the sword punctured his throat, Mike the Canuck exploded and there was a large _bang_!" She sighed, carding a hand through the girl's two toned hair. "Braven was covered in blood and guts, that saddened her because she was wearing a nice pirates dress. But then she spotted a key on the snowy ground."

"What was the key for?"

"Braven was thinking the same thing: What was the key for?" She laid down with her daughter snuggled to her side. "She was smart remember and knew it had to open the cruel king of the Canadian swamps house. The beautiful blue pirate crept towards the stone door again, the full moon in the sky her flashlight."

Anna hugged her mama tightly. She had been upset when her daddy had gone away with stupid work, but this story was better then her daddy's ones. He never talked about killing singing monsters with swords.

"She slipped the key in the lock and the large slab of stone began to rumble and move. It groaned as the heavy door rose high above her head and Braven walked inside. She held the sword in front of her, scared at what she might find. There was a loud noise coming from down the long metallic hallway and our favourite blue pirate sucked in a deep breath and went to explore."

"Ah like explorin', Mama. That's what Ah'm gonna be when Ah'm a big girl – A pirate explorer."

"And you'll make the best pirate explorer in the world, Sweetheart. Now, Braven saw a bright, shining light shimmering under one of the many doors along the hall. She opened the door and do you know what she found?"

Anna shook her head.

"A room full of beautiful adamantium. The room was crammed full of it. Just imagine this very bedroom with strong metal walls, tables, chairs and jewellery."

"What was jewellery doin' there? It's a stinkin' swamp full of mean monsters an' a cruel king."

"Well, the king was waiting for a bride. He had searched far and wide for a queen but had never found one he loved. All the adamantium jewellery was for his lady, his future wife."

"Yuck. That's stupid love stuff. Ya an' daddy always talk 'bout love."

Raven smiled at the girl's disgust. "Yes we do. Now back to the story. Braven left the jewellery room without disturbing any of the pretty jewels. She needed to find her bottle of Vieille Vignes Francaises and she wasn't anything but a professional."

"What does professional mean, Mama?"

"It means Braven is very good at her job because she's a woman. Again. Back to the story. She finally found the bottle of champagne housed in a large glass case. Being a wonderful woman, Braven lifted the lid off the case carefully, setting it down on the floor. She picked the bottle up and cuddled it to her chest... Braven really did love champagne and had finally found the bottle of her dreams."

Anna's eyelids were growing heavier by the second and she yawned. "Then what did she do?"

"She cradled her bottle to her and went to turn around when a thunderous growl made her jump. Braven knew this had to be the cruel king of the Canadian swamps and she was ready to attack him with her sword. The beautiful blue pirate was so very brave and bottle tucked under her arm, she turned around and got into her fighting stance."

"Mama, did she kill the king?"

"Well, Braven looked the cruel Canadian king right in the eye and he stared right back. They both stood there for a very long time, simply looking at each other. Braven thought the king wasn't ugly and the king thought the blue lady pirate was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He stepped towards her, sweeping Braven off her feet and kissed her lovingly. The bottle was still in her hand and Braven had to choose what was most important to her, being the strongest pirate in the world, or falling in love with a hairy, growling Canadian king."

"What did she pick?"

Raven really was missing her husband and sighed. "Braven chose the cruel king. She dropped the expensive bottle of Vieille Vignes Francaises champagne to the harsh concrete floor and kissed the king back. It turned out he wasn't cruel at all, just misunderstood. The king thought he was an animal but he was the greatest man this world had ever seen."

"What was the king's name?" Anna asked quietly, mumbling into her mama's side.

"Loony Loogan. And him and Braven lived happily ever after with their little girl."

Anna scowled sleepily. "That ain't no good endin'."

Raven tucked her daughter in bed, kissing her forehead. "Why not? Braven the beautiful blue pirate and Loony Loogan loved each other. They became rich selling their own brand of champagne to greedy businessmen from China. And their little girl owned every toy she had ever wanted."

"Mama," Anna muttered, snuggling up to her penguin. "Daddy's from Canada."

"Yes, he is." Raven shut off the light.

"An' daddy's got a friend called Mike. He fell over when he was singin'." The mini Southerner's eyes drifted closed.

"Hmm. What a coincidence." A smirking Mystique gazed at her daughter. "Goodnight, Sweetheart." She whispered softly, shutting the bedroom door behind her with a light click. "What a coincidence indeed."


End file.
